More than a game. More than an athlete.

Today is Monday, August 26, 2019.

I have a lot of conflicting emotions happening within me. I’m sure you can guess why.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am an extremely passionate person. Sometimes a little too extra. Sometimes a little too dramatic. But passionate, nonetheless. I have always been this way, and I’m sure I always will be. So, when I really love something, I give it everything I’ve got.

Anyone that knows me also knows that the thing I am most passionate about in life is football. It’s been that way since I was about nine years old. When I first watched Peyton Manning connect downfield with Marvin Harrison against the Denver Broncos in 2006, I was completely hooked.

That’s why when I found out my Colts’ quarterback Andrew Luck was retiring at the ripe age of 29, I immediately burst into tears. I was completely caught off guard and completely devastated.

When Peyton Manning left the Colts to continue his football career with the Denver Broncos, I was also devastated. I felt like, what is this team without Peyton? But instead of jumping off the bandwagon, I stayed. I remained with the team I loved so much - and I’m so glad that I did.

The days following Manning were ROUGH. In 2011 the Colts went 2-14. It was awful. I felt like how my dad must feel every season as a Buffalo Bills fan. But I told myself week in and week out, this team will come through. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And alas, there was.

He wasn’t the coolest, most swagger guy coming out of the draft, but he was everything we could’ve wanted in a player. Dedicated, passionate, resilient, charismatic, charitable and not to mention the guy had a hell of an arm. I knew he would bring this team out of the hole we had so deeply fallen into.

And he did just that. In his first season, the Colts went 11-5 - the most wins for a rookie quarterback. As a rookie he set records in single-season passing yards with 4,374, as well as single-game passing yards with 433. The guy came into a bleeding franchise and completely turned the program around.

But the thing about Andrew Luck is that he is so much more than just a football player. Any NFL fan knows this. There are countless videos of Luck getting the absolute wind knocked out of him by a defender, to which he replies “hey, nice hit buddy!” Every time the guy is on the field or the sideline, he’s smiling, laughing and enjoying playing the game he loves with his team.

Not only was he a leader on the field and in the locker room, but he was a pillar in the Indianapolis community. He gave so much of his time and effort to the kids of Riley Children’s Hospital in Indy, invited children to play ball with him at the Colts’ practice field, and taught them valuable lessons of strength and perseverance. He was really a class act.

I think that’s why losing him hurts so badly. Anyone that knows Andrew Luck well knows that he is dorky, silly and so fun to be around. At the news of his retirement, tweets flooded in from teammates and opponents paying their respects to the quarterback that changed so much. Let us not forget the situation he was thrown into in 2012 - with no offensive line and poor coaching/management - and how he handled that. He stood strong. He brought back the hope that left with Peyton.

I’ve had a lot of people tell me I need to get over it and calm down because “football is just a game” and “he’s just one player.” You’re right, he is just one player, but this is not just a game. It’s so much more than that.

Football is family. My dad and I call each other a hundred times a day just to discuss what’s going on in the league. We watch games together and bond over our mutual hatred for the Broncos.

Football is resilience. When it was painful and difficult to support the Colts in their worst moments, I stood behind them. I learned that life doesn’t always give you exactly what you want - but in those moments, you don’t quit. You continue to fight.

Football is community. I am so grateful for the amazing connections I have made in this world - whether it be fellow Colts fans on Twitter or friends that will never deny me the opportunity to argue who the greatest quarterback of all time is.

Football is everything to me. It’s brought me more joy than just about anything else. It’s helped me build character, patience and a career that I absolutely love. I might not be on NFL Network, but I’m on my way there. This sport has really given me more than I could’ve ever imagined.

So, at the news of the early retirement, yes, I am heartbroken. But I refuse to settle behind the argument that this isn’t a big deal and it doesn’t matter. It matters to me. This is my sport. My passion. My heart and soul.

I am a fanatic. Purely defined as “a person with an obsessive interest in and enthusiasm for something.” Obsessive might be an understatement. I love this game. I love this team. I always will.

So the next time you think this is “just a game” remember that it changes people’s lives and brings joy, community, family and resilience to its supporters. Thank you, Andrew, for teaching me what it means to be more than just a football player or a football fan, but a person of quality character that runs full speed after what one’s heart burns for. I’ll never forget what you did for this team, this game, and me.